Rambling is my lifeline to you Sarah. So here I am from a person with a Vision now being reduced to a mere man burning his cash away.
After all being said and done I am now nothing more than a guy with plenty of time on my hand.
Is that a bad thing? Obviously it's not. While most people are complaining not having much time, I should be grateful my 24 hours are mine.
The basic question that I got [] (to) ask is what do I do with so much time? What will a person with too much of anything do? Well, I [] (can) hoard all the time that I have for myself or I [] (can) share my time with somebody.
In this case I decided to only share my time with a few people. Namely with you, Lizzie and the kids. Most of the time I want to share it with you. The rest of the time I keep it to myself.
It's a fair deal isn't it? I am not asking for anything in exchange. I just want to splurge my cash away.
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Maybe I'm not that special after all.. Maybe when I die I will be the worm feed. That is always the possibility. However what matters now is the meaning that [] (I) give to my life while I am alive. I can go on living with the notion that I am an average person living on an average planet orbiting an average star. Another possibility is I am a special person living in the White Space destined to be great.
Bear in mind both notions only exist within my realm of consciousness and do not involve others. Both are nothing more than the meaning I assign to my mind. For all you know others may see me as a crazy person who is delusional and totally out of touch with reality.
What is reality then? None other that what we perceive as real. So what I believe as real, that is reality to me. At present my reality is me living in a microscopic world. I like that very much. I have everything that I need and I cruise through my daily living without a care for the world.
As I said, I am a Domestic Rat. I had my provisions and am set for the next 21 years. If I am going to live beyond that then I worry about that after 2041. Until then, this is the life I am living.
Who needs the world if I already got you Sarah. We survived the past 3 years. What do I got to lose? I delivered what I need to deliver right on schedule. If there is something else that Big I wants me to deliver, I'll do it. However by the looks of it, this is there is to it. I AM FREE! That's the best part. After 20 years I am free. I might have done a lot of crazy things in my course of becoming the Clockwork Orange but hey, I delivered what need to be delivered. That makes me a true 7:7. I obey and obey.
Let say there is a Judgement of Heaven. By then I can claim that I had done EVERYTHING that was expected of me. I am indeed the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier. Now if that is true, then everything that I was asked to deliver is also true.
In case I am not a worm feed, my future is glorious. Even if I am a worm feed, I already living in the White Space. So either way I am already on a winning streak.
I cannot think of anything else that I need Sarah.
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