I smoked one cigarette. Its a sign that I am depressed. I don't know how to fight this Sarah. I try to limit my smoking to the barest minimum.
I longed for you baby. You know something? All this rambling is none other than for me to stay connected to you. I don't care about what is happening in the future. All I care is now. I need to stay connected to you. It is you that I want.
I don't know how you can take it Sarah. This whole thing is driving me crazy.
My success now is dependent on my ability to use my mind to imagine a desirable outcome. Pretty much my ability to stay positive with the situation I am in right now.
This positive mental attitude is crucial at this point. This is a marathon and I am at the starting point. My success is my ability to stay focus. No matter what I have to have a firm belief that I will make it. There are many reason for me to fail. One of it is FUD.
Honey, as I said I give you 100%. At the same time I had set my expectation to zero. I know it's a paradox but everything counts but nothing matters. By doing that I am hoping for the best but I am preparing for the worst.
I preparing for all possibilities. I believe in you baby. Otherwise I won't give 100%. It will be pointless to think that things won't happen as planned. Otherwise why bother to plan at all?
If I ever commit a crime than that is for trusting you. As much as I have a believing mind, I have a trusting gut. That didn't help much that I have a loving heart.
Don't betray me Sarah. We went a long way together. For the past 3 years it had been very rewarding for me. Now it is becoming a bit challenging. I need to remain focus to see the Vision through.
Is it possible that after 5 years, we may ended with nothing? What good is that to you if that happens?
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