So here I am Sarah, simply writing whatever comes to mind.
I am worried about you. At the same time I was thinking that you are not taking me seriously. All this create a damper in my Unsurpassed Feeling of Certainty. It doesn't help that I am feeling as normal as hell.
I am still listening for inspiration from the Big I. There is none. So I guess I am done. I had completed my 20 years Tour of Duty and I am now a Free Man.
What do I do next?
This is depressing.
I simply have nothing to do. This is so weird. I don't have anything. No more pending matters. I just made myself obsolete.
Maybe it's because I haven't been exercising for the past 2 weeks. Tomorrow I have to sweat. Am I experiencing the writer's block?
I don't really know.
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Very well then, I'll write about my fears.
I have this fear that the HOTS and Global Telepathy 2024 will not happen. All the while my thinking is you are just treating the whole thing as a joke. In my mind you are making fun of me behind my back.
That got me to doubt about myself. What if all those that I told you were not true? What if they are products of a disillusioned mind? Which means the past 3 years you are just leading me on. You were not taking me seriously and you were laughing behind my back.
That is not my worst fear. What I fear the most is what if they are true. That my whole existence is just a big joke. Actually I don't amount to nothing. Whatever I said is nothing more than the manifestation of a crazy mind.
There... I said it. Is there truth to it?
Boy, do I feel terrible. I feel that I will be losing you because of the HOTS and Global Telepathy 2024.
This is the main source of discomfort right now. I am so uncertain. Are you for real or are you making fun of me.
To have the answer I have to wait for 5 years.
Are you for real Sarah? I need to know.
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