Tuesday, 7 January 2020

7/1/20 ***One week of 2020 is gone

Time like this I feel like having a nice cigar and immerse in the comfort of nicotine.  As you know, that's the nicotine receptors talking.  I quit cigarette a year ago.  Since last week I quit the nicotine gum, equally bad.

Now I am tempted to send that paragraph as a Tweet but I hold back.

Basically I have a social media itch for no reason.  At least when I blog I reflect on my thoughts.  With Twitter, it's purely dopamine hit.

So I need to stay away from social media as I concluded.  It does more damage than good.

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#traxxfm You know honey, when I listen to Never Enough, the song straight away invoke memories of you. Now that memory is you as a giant purple carrot.

Basically I cannot compound my dopamine addiction.  What are they?

  • Nicorette
  • Tweeting TraXX
  • Nescafe C Kosong 
  • Internet Radio
  • Pornhub
I am a dopamine addict.





#traxxfm Because of this smoking ban I had quit smoking for 1 year already. Now I am quitting the nicotine gum. Smoking is no longer in fashion unlike when I was a school boy 40 years ago.


I think I just play it by the ears.  Subtraction can be hard at times.

I take it one step at a time.


#traxxfm For 2020 I look forward to my 21 km Hill Run at Bukit Kiara. Another 9 months to go.


I don't know where this is heading but whaddaheck.  I just play along.

What do you think Sarah?  Should I continue to be a troll and act as if I own the biggest ego in the block?

Cleaners are feared.  I like that.

At the same time I had more or less concluded that I am playing in a very tiny sandbox and everybody want to take control of the center.  What do I need to do then?  I let go of power.  That what I had been doing Sarah.  I had been letting go of power from the very beginning.

Power is just an illusion.  I don't need illusion in my life.  I am a magician.  I create illusions.  So I don't need to live inside an illusion.

Only I can decide on that.  I have the ability to decide whether I want to play or not.

Beyond the sandbox there are nothing much.  I think life is pretty mundane for most people.

So do I want to keep on playing?

I don't know.  It's a boring game but it's the only game in town.

I think I change my strategy this year.

I'll stop TraXX.

There is an end to everything.  I might as well end this continuous *[] (loop) now.

* Sometime what we need is a little nudge.  

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Social Media is more damaging for me than doing me good.  I had let go of FB and WhatsApp Group.  Now is to let go of Twitter.  Then I am out of that world.

Just like what I did with Dreams of Mirrors.  It's a choice.  I wonder, beside the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) what is really the benefit of Social Media?

None really.

I better take it that this year is the year I am free from nicotine and Social Media.

I can still be the Darwin Hawk Moth and still pollinate a specific kind of orchid.  The only difference is it's another orchid and not the previous one.  It's just switching preference like switching from Pepsi to Coke.



Like I said Sarah, I think too much.  All I need to do is decide I am dumping Els because I don't think it means anything in the long run.

TraXX as a whole means nothing to me now.  They are a lost cause.  I rather listen to Capital FM UK.

Brb...

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