I should lead a better life on my own as compared to when I was working. I am in charge of my life now.
One thing I remember from my lucid dream today is life is just an illusion.
Nicorette is an illusion. Take away Nicorette, what do I get?
Take away dope, what is really my relationship with BJ?
Underneath the layers of facades, I should find my true self. Who am I really to myself?
The temptation to smoke dope is there. That's because I am tempted to bond with BJ. However what is BJ's true worth? Nothing. Since I met him there is no value in BJ other than smoking dope.
I also have to evaluate my value as a person. What is my worth? I should be worth something to myself.
At the very least I should have self-worth.
I should not be damaging my body with poisons.
From now on I should make FULL ATTEMPT to be thin and fast.
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Life without Nicorette is a drag. I feel depressed and unhappy. I sleep a lot too. This is my fight. If I can win over my fight with cigarettes, I should win my fight over Nicorette.
The body will stabilize itself. I will get well again.
First I got to get rid of all the garbage in my life:
- Thoughts on God, the afterlife and Judgement of Heaven
- Friends who smoke cigarettes and dope
- Dependency on Nicorette
- Eating sugar and starch
- Entertaining the thoughts of smoking cigarettes and dope
Not much really. I should live a normal life like what John Nash did.
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I can do this. All I need is to take out Nicorette from the equation. Once I do that, I take out sugar and starch too.
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Now the mania is gone, it's about fighting depression. It's about fighting my dependency on Nicorette. It's about refraining myself from smoking dope with BJ and make me feel like shit after that.
Who are the real losers in life? None other than the cigarettes and dope smokers. Who are the winners? These are the runners who run 5 km every other day and do a 10 km a week.
Stay away from being a loser and start being a winner.
Also losers are fat people who eat sugar and starch.
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