2/1/20 ^^^What's it's gonna be then?

Is there God or is there No God?

For practical reasons, I say there is a God but like me this God is impartial.  I believe in God not because I revere God but rather because I have a believing mind.  However if I look at the evidences, I say I created God with my own image.  Eventually I become God and God becomes me.

So I don't believe in a theistic god.  I however believe in this Infinite Intelligence that is guiding me even as I write this paragraph.

I'm actually fed up talking about God.  I think it is overrated.  I don't think God wants us to worship Him.

Furthermore I think this Nicorette cessation is making me mentally unstable.  On one hand I realized that there is no clear evidence that God exists.  On the other hand I want to believe in God.

I wish I can get rid of this question from my head forever.

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This nicotine withdrawal is really bad.  I had been sleeping the whole day through.

Well, can I say I was wrong for the past 3 years and I am now about to "wake up"?

I am not a god.  I was a person who was experiencing the God Complex.

Now that I woke up, I don't even want to go through the argument whether there is God and the afterlife.

I rather remain an Agnostic Atheist.

I rather accept that my mental condition is due to the illness and move from there.

Which means I am now battling the Nicorette cessation.

Once I win the battle, I will win over my mental faculty.

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I don't mind rebooting my whole system again.  I want to start fresh.  The cornerstone to it all is the God Question.

Let start all over again, slowly.

• Is there a God?  Yes there is but this God is a Force rather than an entity.  Fuck, why am I going through this?  The real answer is I don't know.
• Am I God?  No I am not.
• Who am I then?  I am a person suffering from mental illness for the past 20 years and now I am slowly recovering.
• What caused my illness?  It is the inability for my brain to regulate dopamine.
• How can I improve my mental health?  I got to stop taking substances that induce the fluctuation of dopamine in my brain like taking dope and Nicorette.
• Can I recover?  I believe I can.  I need to allow my body to heal itself
• Do I believe in God?  Yes I do.  However it is a statement of faith rather than belief based on evidence.

What count's now is my ability to cope with this nicotine withdrawal.  It is a 40 years old addiction.  I need to win this battle.  Once I win over this battle, then I have better control over my mental faculty.

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