How do I describe my situation now?
I feel like drinking Coke without the fizz. The sizzle is gone Sarah. As I said, it's like waking up from a long slumber.
Certainly part of me just vanished. I am so ordinary. No more grandiose thoughts.
In a way it's a good feeling. I am becoming normal. Unlike before, I was in the influence of nicotine. Certainly there is a big difference. Nicotine increases dopamine by 200%. In a way I was high on dopamine before.
Let's watch how ridiculous a smoker enjoying his cigarette:
I can't watch it. It is so disgusting.
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I tell you what Sarah... I will take a nice long shower, spray my favorite perfume and sleep like a baby tonight.
Tomorrow morning I wake up early and go for a run.
I got 4 months to shape up.
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OK let me make a resolution tonight. No matter what I will NEVER smoke dope or cigarettes ever again.
I will use this next 4 months to strengthen my Sound Mind in Sound Body commitment.
That's about it Sarah. You know what honey? I even lose that loving feeling.
I am riding this wave baby. I want to see how much will I improve without Nicorette.
So far I am still operating at below par.
Well Sarah, I gotta go. Maybe tomorrow things might change.
No lullaby tonight.
Goodnight baby...
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