Thursday, 2 January 2020

3/1/20 ###I had a severe migraine this morning

The weather is too hot.

I woke up at 4:30 am.  Then I went to sleep again.  My dream is becoming weird.  I believe this is the effect  of quitting Nicorette.

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I had a thought on dope.  Dope really makes me lazy.  I really need to get rid of dope and cigarette thoughts in my mind.  I keep on thinking of going to meet BJ and smoke a joint with him.

This Nicorette cessation is really bad.

I don't  feel like exercising this morning.  I was hungry and the weather is too hot.

So I ended having breakfast and don't exercise in the morning.

I feel better.  As a fact today is better than yesterday.

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You know what Sarah?  All these talks that we been having in the past 3 years is irrelevant to others except me and you.  In most cases it didn't matter to anybody else at all. 

Like last night, I had a conversation with Jibrail.  What he said is only applicable to me and therefore it is not worth repeating here.

It's pretty much like writing a fiction.  The only difference is this fiction was not intended as a fiction.  However it is a fiction nonetheless because the characters are all the figment of my imagination.

Do I believe in this fiction?  I certainly do.  That makes it a fiction written and meant to be read by me alone.

I do hope I can quickly recover from this Nicorette withdrawal really soon.


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