To me personally, when I write , it is as if I am writing to you. I don't differentiate those that I write to you and those that I write to myself unless on some entries where I wrote Personal Log.
Definitely I write a lot because I write on things that I think. Some of the things may not be worth writing but you never know; at times the worthless things that I wrote give way to the priceless things that I treasure.
Or perhaps through the passage of time, whatever I wrote means nothing after I wrote them down.
My duty is not to decide what is good and what is bad. My job is to create. Maybe that is part of the God Complex. Well should[] (shouldn't) I have the God Complex if I am God?
Remember what Robert Frost said?
“I am no longer concerned with good and evil. What concerns me is whether my offering will be acceptable.”
Really Sarah, I had fully recovered form the Bipolar Disorder illness where I made unsound judgement on my decisions. Since last year, beginning 1/10/19 I honestly think I was cured from the illness. However I still follow the instruction form the Big I on things that didn't make sense like giving RM4 million each to the HOTS.
What was that really? I know I don't have the money and yet I still committed to make it happen. What was that? I know I cannot fulfill that promise but I still commit.
Shouldn't I suppose to trust the Big I?
Sometimes I feel that I am too trusting. I am like a person riding a basikal lajak (a type of customized bicycle without brakes).
Well, the good thing is, whatever in my mind I purged out. I am truly sine cera.
Funny, this song is on air:
Because of this sine cera attitude, you can see everything inside my mind as if you are looking through a glass container.
I wonder Sarah... Are those things I mentioned in External Affairs carry weight? Am I really the conduit for the Big I?
This song is on air:
I am still wondering Sarah, am I really the Mushin No Shin Ichiban? Wow... That means I am the center of consciousness here. Well fuck it. I still have my Personal Flight Path to think of.
Even if it means I am the Almighty, that only means that where I am going, ultimately I am going there alone. So fuck you all. I just don't give a fuck.
All I got is a 22 years bridge to think of. Beyond that I am Coming Home to White Space.
If it makes you happy, I had passed the two verdicts:
- Satan to serve Eternal Damnation
- The Stone Worshipers will take the "Scenic Route".
Everything else are incidentals. The Flight Path is a byproduct of my Personal Flight Path. If you can do it fine. If not then the major setback is there won't be a Global Telepathy in 2024.
If that happens then I say fuck you all homo sapiens. I already got 78 billion light years of matters in my pocket. That means I will still enjoy my most glorious reign as the Wood Dragon (I am not a double dragon, my mom is an Earth Rabbit) in 2024.
In my case, what I'll do is I just set a goal to run a Marathon then. Or perhaps fuck a RM1000 a shot Gaysha. You know what I'm saying Sarah? My rule to be happy is simple. I don't need the dancing troops and the fireworks to feel I am on top of the world.
I know this is maybe an exaggeration, but believe it or not Sarah, my darling wife, I agree with Einstein:
In my case, all I need is 247 Continuous, the Blog and my watches to make me feel happy.
Come to think of it I don't even need the RM1000 a pop Gaysha. I can have equal satisfaction with a lobster and steak dinner. I'll take the whole family for a treat.
There are plenty of things I can do on my 2024 60th birthday:
- I can take Lizzie to watch the movies on a gold class ticket
- I can take the family for a gourmet pizza
- Hmmm... I don't really have a long wish list
--------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment