>>>#6/1/20 When I walk, I walk. When I write, I write

I got to shrink it to the minimum.  However when I do that I got to extract the essence.

I did that just now.  Initially I have many minds.  But when I reduced to the core of my activity, I discovered that I am more focused and motivated.

Today is the first Monday of the year.  I definitely started my day with a gusto.  I am moving with certainty.  The dreaded feeling of quitting Nicorette is slowly disappearing.  I don't feel that bad after all.

However I need to bear in mind, NO BJ NO CIGARETTE AND NO DOPE.  If I can do that, I will be on my way to my liberation.

Isn't that what I want?  Above anything else, I want to be free.  Thus my first independence should be my independence from 40 years of nicotine addiction.

If I can do that then the next battle will be a downhill.  Then I can run without much effort.  I can lose weight without much hassle.

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You know Sarah, you don't have to accept any of this.  This is me enjoying myself.  There is nothing profound in what I write.  I write because I enjoy writing.  I write because I like talking to myself.  Even if it means I talk cock sing song.

So while I am enjoying myself spending my cash, you don't have to be hanging out with me.  I am a loner.  I like being with myself.

I rather waste my time on myself rather than wasting it on other people.  As long as I spend my cash mostly on myself, I am doing OK.

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You want to know what's the meaning of indulgence?  That is when you focus all the pleasures on yourself.

I may be sounding like a total jerk.  What can I say?  I had my choices and I decided that this is the choice I am making right now.

Now, that doesn't mean I am purging myself from the mainstream.  I [] (am) still dependent on the social structure.  I however am not going to allow the established norm to influence my thinking.

Is that a bad thing to do?  Well, it is bad if you are a social influencer.  However, if you are a Domestic Rat, you will realize your best strategy is to nibble and run.

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I am done following the masses.  My success in life is actually dependent on my ability to remain in solitude.

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