That means I continue to write instead of reading. Don't get me wrong. I love reading. However reading takes away the time I can use to write. In this case, I rather be writing.
It is not so much what I write as oppose to why I write. I am a purpose driven person. Once I know the why, the what and the how will fall in place.
In anything that I do, there must be a purpose to it. Without purpose there is no meaning.
There is no higher purpose than love. Love is the elixir to the void in my life before this. Now that I had found love, nothing else matters. True, love is the answer to every question that perplex us. I[f] (It) is love that healed me. It is also love that motivate me to write. I bet it is also love that keep you coming back for more.
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Tomorrow I am meeting BJ. I'd been wanting to see him for a while now. I thought of watching the Invisible Man at 10:30 am but it's a thriller. Not my cup of tea.
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I want to stay away from TraXX.
I want to stop Tweeting Rex and Els.
Even when I see BJ tomorrow, I won't be smoking dope.
Better still, I don't see him. I'll watch Invisible Man instead.
There, I canceled the appointment.
I should have known better. Dope makes me crazy
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If I don't see BJ, then I only see him in Ramadan. That further strengthen my cessation from cigarette and dope. I promised myself that I will quit both for good. Seeing BJ tomorrow is a bad decision.
Instead of seeing him, I might as well exercise. My mood is great right now. Why should I tilt the scale?
All these issues of dealing with loneliness and mental disorder can be solved if I exercise. I need to build the momentum this month. Not diverting my effort by meeting BJ.
I have to decide who I want to be. A smoker or an Athlete4Life?
OK Sarah, enough rambling for one night. I better sleep baby.
Here is your lullaby:
Goodnight Sarah. You know I love you very much. I am missing you already baby.
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