I realized that I have a vision. It is an uncommon vision. Whether I got the vision because I am gifted or because I am crazy is irrelevant. There is a thin line between a genius and an insane.
I had gone through a journey for the past 20 years. This journey was a lonely one for the longest time. It was just me for a good 18 years. The only person I talked to was BJ. Now I don't think BJ even believe what I was telling him.
However the last 3 years, you changed everything. You believe in me. All the while I had given proofs upon proofs of my adventure and my epiphanies. Finally I have somebody who is sympathetic of my story. Yes Sarah, I was crazy at some point of my life. However I am not a gone case. I can think pretty rationally most of the time. It's just that my experience was uniquely mine.
At the same time I was trying to make the outside world understand the things that I see. From the very beginning all the way to the very end of things that [] (I) see. I even tried making Els see. I don't know if she saw what I see. She probably think I am a nutcase.
On the other hand I got you. You believe in me. Why should I deny what was bestowed upon me because others don't believe? All it takes is one more person to create synergy. I don't need the whole world to believe me. All I need is for me to believe in myself and just another person to see what I see.
I have to accept that I am destined for something bigger. Otherwise what I had gone through was futile. For example when I told you that we will have a global catastrophe, the vision was a virus pandemic. But because I dare not say it, I diverted into something else. The only thing was I was informed that this catastrophe will happen within the next 10 years. I didn't expect it to be that soon. However I did say we don't have much time.
When I look at the total spread, I realized that the catastrophe is just a subset. It's just a chapter in the whole story. The truth is, in the scheme of things this story is my story. I need to take ownership of the story from beginning to the end. My mistake was I told the story to people who are not interested in the story; to TraXX, my mom, my family and my friends. That is crazy part. It's not the story that's crazy. I have enough evidence to support the story. Telling it to others was what made it crazy.
Hence, from now on I decided to no longer share the story with anybody else except you. On my end, I am committed to the Vision. I will still pursue my Personal Flight Path until I am 77 years [all] (old). Perhaps nothing happens until then. I may die sooner or later. However while I am still breathing a[s] (and) we had not reach KBOOOM 2041, it is up to me to keep my vision alive.
What do I got to lose Sarah? I already lost a huge chunk of my life to Bipolar. This is the second S Curve, the 21 years ascend. I have to make good of what's left. Covid 19 is just the official flagging. Sailbad the Sinner had set sail on 13/1/20; the date of first reported case outside of China, Thailand. It was also the day I first met Azzue and I had my KL Walk.
You know what I really think Sarah? I think all these are signs for us to take heed. It like mother earth is saying that we better make serious effort to buck up or else we will perish along with our greed and arrogance. This is the year nature is hitting back on us if we keep on doing the things that we keep on doing.
If this is the first strike, then the next 10 years we will see more calamities coming our way.
Look at it this way, throughout last year I was talking about going microscopic, living on Voluntary Simplicity, eliminating debt and shrinking my parameters. Everything I said is now affecting people in a grand scale. I bet the masses are actually going the opposite direction all the while.
At that time I didn't know that this is the outcome but boy am I glad I decided to go against flow. Now all I need to do is to spend my money on food.
Everything fell in place. I bought my Nautica X collection in February. I sold of my unwanted stuff and I bought Rex the 40 Rules of Love 4/3/20.
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