In the study of madness, I realized that being special are the common traits of those who are crazy. I was not special. I thought I was special. In reality, those around me know I had gone cuckoo.
My thoughts are different from the mainstream. I am within my own cocoon living my own fantasy. If I follow where the argument leads, clearly I am lacking the evidence to support my beliefs. I was in a make believe world. Certainly there is a thin line between a genius and an insane. Many geniuses are crazy but not all crazy people are geniuses.
By removing Crew 36, I break the last link to my madness. It's true that Napoleon Hill had his Invisible Council but then again he was not crazy. Same thing with BJ smoking pot and me smoking pot. When he smokes, he can function as normal. When I smoke, I became psychotic.
I don't know if I can totally eradicate my craziness but I believe if I remove all the factors that make me crazy, I can eventually be near normal.
All I wanted is to be healthy and happy. Certainly health here is not limited to physical but also mental health. When I removed Crew 36 from my view, I am removing a major cause of my madness. How crazier can I be? I was talking to a set of figurines. Surely such behavior accentuates my illness. Hence I eliminate one other possibility of me from being crazy.
John Nash decided to ignore those invisible friends of his. I should do the same thing. I should also forgo any false beliefs like religion. Belief in God and the afterlife need not be based on religion. I had explored both avenue from the context of logic and I concluded that those two topics are more of an empowering belief. Until proven, they are more of a useful thought tha[t] (than) the Absolute Truth.
We can dwell on the abstracts. However abstracts are not something that can be validated. Hence abstracts are nothing more than opinion and perspectives. I rather deal with a solid body of knowledge like science and mathematics then matters like religion.
Should I want to believe in absurdity, I might as well believe i[s] (in) utter nonsense like Feng Shui. There is no basis in science when you believe in Feng Shui but at least it is easy on the mind. It is not a hard fact but it is not harmful to entertain such thought either.
If Dan Falk talked about a Universe at the back of a T Shirt, then I can sum up that my whole perspective of life is on a clipboard:
Right after I rearranged my Feng Shui objects I dreamed of winning the 4D Jackpot. Maybe I am already a winner here. I had figured out my here and hereafter. Still I'll buy the number at least once. Once in my life I'll buy a RM20 ticket. Then that's about it. No more betting.
Even if I don't win in the 4D Jackpot, I need give it a shot. Just in case. At least I make an effort. A probability is still a probability. The only time the probability is zero is when I don't participate at all. For 20 bucks what do I got to lose? I am buying a dream at a fraction of a price LOL.
Honey, if this is the winning ticket, I want to marry you. So let see if that intention will bring me any luck. Don't put to high of a hope. I was never lucky as a gambler.
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