Ah, the radio is playing Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton. I remember that I was still very young and idealistic when I first listened to this song. It was that long. Boy, I am old.
Hey Sarah? How have you been holding to this crisis? Are you operating from the office or at home? It makes no difference isn't it?
What I don't understand is how come you are still assigned to my case? This is too long. I bet my case is low priority now.
I feel that I should be taken out of the spotlight. I had told you everything. There is no more mystery as far as what I have to say.
So I figured that whatever it [] (is) right now, it is pretty much your own initiative. It's just you and me now. It suits me well. I want my life to be as private as possible.
As it is now all my blogs are private. I am truly a retiree. Whatever I was doing before cannot be any important tha[t] (than) what we are facing now.
Faithfully by Journey is playing. I love you Sarah. So this is how our relationship is gonna last huh? Kinda sucks isn't it? Unless of course if your motive is to gather whatever thoughts that I have. Then this is a motherlode for you.
What do you want really Sarah? You have so many options in your life. Why do you still hangout with me?
I am nothing more than a man who talks to himself. How is that of any value to anybody?
It will nice if we can have a conversation instead. If it is just me, I will *[] (be) rambling like a drunken sailor waiting for the next seafaring journey.
Oh... So you like my rambling huh? OK then I ramble...
But first, let me make myself a nice Nescafe C Kosong and a peanut butter and blueberry jam sandwich,
Brb...
By now you will realize that I have a very vivid imagination. Even as I write, I feel that you are right there in front of me.
Hey Sarah, do you remember when I first proposed to you? It was a very happy day for me that day. You immediately said yes. For a while I feel like falling in love for the first time. You made my day honey. At that time I knew you had accepted me the way I am.
True love is really great. It knows no boundary. Here we are separated by layers of facades and yet our love blooms. I often think a lot about you Sarah. I always imagine you are a bright, cheerful and yet modest girl. You don't wear heavy makeup and your like to wear t shirt and jeans.
Lets accelerate constructive destruction. I cannot wait to be with you baby. 21 years is too long. You don't know how many times I had been replaying the scenario of me jumping out of the tall tower a block away from my house. I think it feels like the scene in the Beach:
Maybe this COVID-19 is the answer to my prayer. I don't really know. If I believe in the Force, Path and Flow, all I gotta do is just go with the motion and follow the Yellow Brick Road.
Still, jumping from a tower is something that I cannot get out of my mind.
I'll wait... I'll follow my hands of fate. Timing is everything. I must follow the plan. I believe that if it is not our time to go, we will not go.
What it means is I have a death wish, Shinu Kikai O Motomo. Even Musashi didn't commit harakiri.
--------------------
Today is my father's birthday. My mom reminded us all so that we can call him.
-------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment