I want to take a different perspective to the above heading.
In the past that statement refers to me and my future outlook. Meaning, whatever I envisioned I become.
Today I want to take a different perspective; whatever who I am now is who I really am.
So if I look at my current situation then I say I am a lonely guy who talks to himself THINKING he has an imaginary spouse who talk to him in ciphers. That is a pretty pathetic description of a person who wasted his time away with nothing better to do except rambling about things that have no value to others.
I am really of no value to the society. An invalid who is really a waste of time. I don't contribute to the economic growth nor do I have any impact to people around me.
In that sense I am better off dead. However there is one person I am of value. That is to myself. To me, I am a success. Although I am not much of a high net worth individual, I am not a liability either. I paid my dues and my debt to my family. In that sense I am a zero liability individual
So what is my value as a person then? I am only valuable to myself. That makes me an individualist to the core. Can you live with that realization Sarah? That I am nothing more than a driftwood going through the passage of time?
Well if there is a lesson learned from this experience is the notion that I don't have to be bothered by what's happening around me. Nothing matters really. My need is very little but of the little I need I cannot do without.
So its a fair deal. I don't contribute much, hence I don't consume much. Instead of playing an offensive game, I am playing a defensive game. I keep my world small. Who says you have to think big all the time? All I need is to be contented. That doesn't take much. All I need is the PC, WiFi, something to eat and the indulgence of my watches. From that point on I'm all set.
I do exercise, listen to music, watch movies and occasionally eat out. All these don't require much money.
It will be a regression if I am a person who want to have a lot of money. But for a person who only need money for food and clothing, I have enough without having to crack my head on getting more than what I need now.
With this realization I then conclude that I only need to think about going through on day by day basis. I just be an ordinary person. No need ambition whatsoever. After all what counts is now. Not the future and certainly not the past.
What is it that matters in my present? None other than my watches. Other than that is pretty basic. So as long as my watches keep me happy. I don' have to think about further acquisitions. Which means I can start enjoying SAVING money.
Ultimately my idea of happiness is to do away with worldly desires. I just retreat to life's simple pleasures namely in my case is writing and listening to music. I tried reading but then reading means fusing others values into mine. I am not interested in doing that anymore. Same goes with meeting people.
I am only interested in introspecting. Pretty much like a hermit or a philosopher. To me that is living in the present. I just look within me for answers. Already I had my winning formula, All I need to do is live by my own principles.
Of course if I want to listen to opinions, there are plenty out there. Some are good some are lousy. However, at the end of the day the opinion that [] (counts) is the opinion I have about myself.
With that in view, I only need to keep on writing. As long as I can write I am productive. As long as I can create, I am a creator.
Brb... Dinner.
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Supposedly I decide to only look at my present and evaluate my achievement based on that. Am I a success? There are two ways we can look at it. One is whether I am materialistically fulfilled. The other is whether I am emotionally happy. If I look from both perspectives I say I had attained both. It will be a great error to own everything that I am no[t] (now) and not feeling fulfilled.
There can be a situation where I am materialistically fulfilled but I am not happy. That will be a great tragedy. However that is not my case right now. With the exception of [] (the) down cycle, I am genuinely happy with my life right now. I admit I don't have much cash. Well that is offset by having 10 watches.
If I am to complain it is because I am still fat and I cannot run. I can't complain though, I have a good time eating exquisite food.
So life is fair. You get what you put in.
Do I need to worry about my weight issue? Maybe a bit. But as a whole I am a very happy and contented person.
There is nothing wrong in being a minimalist materialistically but being happy emotionally. I don't have to join the masses in going for more or more expensive. I had channeled that lust into my watch collection. From hereon all I need to do is go with the flow.
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