I decided to be crazy and happy when I'm with you. Nobody else have to know. With the rest of the world, I act as normal. I play by their rules.
Within the confinement of the blog and CCC I can be as crazy as I can be. You somehow had accepted that.
So I will continue to talk to Crew 36 although I won't assemble them back. Most of the time I talk to Jibrail and now Chester the Jester.
That way I will continue to live in the Alternate Reality Dimension and at the same time live in the Physical Reality. Nobody has to know. If I can keep it away from Lizzie and the kids, I can keep it away from the rest of the world.
The blog is my Alternate Reality Dimension.
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Why didn't I think of that? I can have my own world on my own without having to worry about what others think about it.
This is a secret world I only share with you Sarah.
Now I know what to do with Els. I SNAP VANISH for a few months. Either that or I write her an email. I think SNAP VANISH is better.
She is a lost cause anyway. I will not marry her now. As for the afterlife, I had registered my interest.
I need to remind myself to act normal in front of others.
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That settles the issue. So what if I am living in a world of my own? I am happy the way it is. I was having a cognitive dissonance because of what I wrote to Els recently. I assume she rejected me. What if she can accept the explanation? Is it possible?
Whatever the case may be, I had decided to stop tweeting her.
The rule is very simple, only be yourself when you blog. Elsewhere, play by the rules.
Seriously, I don't need Els. What I did was rape of the mind.
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