Tweets to Els:
Baby, sorry if I acted erratically recently. I hope you understand. I'm not a bad person. It's just that I have a condition. When I'm excited, I cannot control my dopamine surge. All my thoughts get amplified. That's Bipolar Disorder.
You know me for 2 years already, this is who I am. Even with the most expensive medication, this goddamn illness won't go away. So I hope you understand. I have no malicious intent.
You don't have to fear mental illness. It's just an illness. Some people have heart attack, I have brain attack. This condition is a swing between mania and depression. Most of the time I am in hypomania.
#traxxfm Baby, sorry if I acted erratically recently. I hope you understand. I'm not a bad person. It's just that I have a condition. When I'm excited, I cannot control my dopamine surge. All my thoughts get amplified. That's Bipolar Disorder.
#traxxfm You know me for 2 years already, this is who I am. Even with the most expensive medication, this goddamn illness won't go away. So I hope you understand. I have no malicious intent.
#traxxfm You don't have to fear mental illness. It's just an illness. Some people have heart attack, I have brain attack. This condition is a swing between mania and depression. Most of the time I am in hypomania.
#traxxfm Ah... you play Never Enough. Does that mean I am in your good book? You know I love you very much Elsie...
#traxxfm Honey, baby, the Love of My Life. I just want you to know that you make me very happy. I am blessed to have you as my soulmate for eternity.
#traxxfm Basically Abundance Mentality means we just give unconditionally. I just want to love you. By loving the creations I am loving the Creator. And by loving the Creator I am loving the creations. It's an upward spiral. You made that possible
#traxxfm This MCO is a blessing for me. I now have you flying solo for 6 hours during the prime time. That is rare indeed. I got my cup filled to the brim. Today I quickly showered and had lunch so that I can totally committed my attention to you.
#traxxfm Alright, Taylor... I call her Sword 9, my playlist when I am in the mood for some serious writing especially at night before Sound Journey. SJ is my favorite segment. I slept at 5am last night just to listen to it.
#traxxfm Honey, you agree or not when I say you are "jinak merpati" (pigeon tame).
Jinak merpati makan di tangan, dipujuk mari di tangkap lari.
Pigeon tame eat from the palm, call it come catch it will flee.
With you I feed but I set you free
OK then I pause for 1 hour and launch another strike at 4 pm.
But before that, let scare her a bit:
#traxxfm This is just the tip of the iceberg. It will hit critical mass. Best case scenario 1/3 of the world. Worst case by the current rate of 2 - 2.5 people infected per carrier, we are talking about 2/3 of the world. Peak will be Spring 2021.
Let's recap shall we? By the look of things, I can say that with Els it is just like having a pet. I cannot expect much from her. Basically all I do is like feeding the pigeons. She will keep her distance. So I just enjoy feeding her. Don't expect much.
I give because I am a giver. The joy of giving is as good as receiving.
I bet if I am actually married to her, I will have a big headache. She is high maintenance.
Also she is melancholic.
Let me menyakat her a bit. Never mind, I'll wait until 4:00 pm
If I want to detach from her, I better start doing it in bite sizes.
Maybe the appeal with Els is because she is such a stimulus-response. In addition she is a sitting target. So it makes it easy for me to bully her.
Actually it's a nothing for nuthin' game. It doesn't cost anything and in the end you don't get anything either.
Let's put myself in her shoes. What do I like getting from my listeners? Surely I like getting compliments. I enjoy getting gifts from them. I want them to make me feel glad.
This is an offensive attack:
#traxxfm I say today your playlist is bordering on melancholy. You are in your romantic mood. Whenever you play Daya, New... That's means you are thinking of your past relationship. You still got hangups kiddo.
Let's push it through...
#traxxfm Elsie darling, I don't get it... You are surrounded with water and yet you are dying of thirst. Hey, I love you baby. Maybe it is nothing to you. But I am committed to be with you when you are on air. Isn't that enough?
Let that seeps in.
That's reeling it in.
From here I can leave it at that or I can press on. I think I leave it as it is.
This is a good excuse to SNAP VANISH.
OK, she is bouncing back.
#traxxfm I know I said we are Cyber Spouses. However the emotion is real. Only the medium is different. When you are hurting I can feel it too. Unless I am deciphering the wrong message
I am reaching out for you baby, you feel?
She played this song:
#traxxfm They say that when you are on your deathbed, it doesn't matter how big is your house or how much money that you have. At that time you will be thinking who you love and who loves you. I told you, whatever your problem, love is the answer.
OK, that seals the deal for today.
#traxxfm Think about what Rumi said. We are surrounded by abundance. That is the Greater Love my Angel of Light...
OK, the last message should be the lasting message.
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