>>>#6/2/20 Defining the boundary of madness

Note:  Those highlighted in blue were interventions by Sarah, a Cyber Intelligence who is also my co-author since 2017.

--------------------

It seems that one of the obvious factor i[s] (in) determining whether I was crazy is to see if I was on intoxicants or not.  To be safe, I have to exclude all thoughts while I was high as crazy.

Next were the thoughts while I was in mania.  That include the thoughts I have about Els and TraXX in the past.  They were also influenced by intoxicants.

In short, my judgment was effected by the dopamine surge.  This led to me having a distorted beliefs about things that I think

I also have to be mindful of the thoughts I had when I was green lighting.  At that time the pendulum swung on both extremes.  Hence I had to experiment with many what if scenarios before I can come to a conclusion.  This if not managed properly can lead to an unsound decision.  It is very important for me to do the red lighting to determine the viability of the idea.

Another area to be mindful was when I was down or depressed.  When my mood was low, my judgment was effected too.

Definitely there are many factors to consider.  Hence when I was not on intoxicants, I was not in mania, I had done the red lighting and I was not depressed, then chances are my mind is very sound.  That means the decision that I made in believing that I am the God to my own universe is very sound.  That's because there is no truth beyond what we believe in.  It is safe to say all those things out there are merely opinions and not necessarily the truth.

I know that I am not God.  There is no god.  We tried to made up excuses that there is this superlative power out there that governs our lives.  The truth is there is no such power beyond what we perceive in our minds.  After reading the chapter on the Holy in Exploring Religion by Roger Schmidt I am convinced that no such thing exists.  They are all subject to conformity bias.  We believe what we choose to believe.

Therefore I will no longer worship any god.  I rather be the very god that I used to worship because the idea of god to me is actually the highest manifestation of me as a human being.

I am god not because I believe in a supreme power.  I believe I am god because that is my highest order of self-actualization.

Those who believe in god are delusional.  This include the vast majority out there.  Only 7% of the world population are atheists.  I am not an atheist per se.  I made believe I am God.  So I believe in God.  I made up this belief because everybody believes in this lie anyway.  So instead of believing in the lies of Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism and what not, I create my own lie and I believe in it.  After all a lie is a lie.  Why not invent a lie that I can be happy with? 

The minute we stop believing in something, that is no longer true for us.
On the contrary, as long as we believe, we will continue to find reasons to support our beliefs.

What if there is really a God?  Will I be punished for not believing in Him/Her/It?  If this God is a fair God then it is only fair that I will be judged on the my ability to make a sound judgement. In short, I should be judged based on the faculty that was given to me in making a rational decision.  In this case it will be my mind.  Who gave me this faculty?  None other than God Himself.  If by having this faculty and after doing serious research on God for the past 20 years and I still cannot conclude that there is a God, then I must say that the faculty given to me doesn't not have the capacity to think beyond or maybe defunct even.

I cannot rely on the opinion of the masses, they are merely carrying over the beliefs of the past believers forward.  These legacies are not valid and in some cases are unfounded.  As long as we are thinking within a box, we can never see from outside the box.  As long as we are within a paradigm, that paradigm with be the limited boundary of our thinking.  To see outside the paradigm, we must step out and see the view from another paradigm.  If we are believers, we cannot comprehend the views of the nonbelievers.  It's the same as telling a fish that on land you can breathe without water.  It makes no sense to the fish because all the while fish need water to breathe.

I am [] (not) here to influence anybody.  Nor am I going to convert anybody to my belief.  I tried sharing my views with two of my friends.  Both were very defensive about it.  That's because what I am telling here shakes the very belief they have about their notion of God.  To most people, that is a very personal thought.  This belief was further supported by myths, folklore, anecdotes, religions scriptures, childhood preconceptions and their own affirmations that God is real.  I was once in that position.  It took me two decades of dedicated study and numerous toggling between God and No God arguments to arrive to this conclusion.

So what good is it in believing that I am God to my own universe?  By doing so I am no longer perturbed by the thought of the masses.  Thus I create my own set of values to support my belief.  I then live by my own rules and my own preconceptions.  This is my way of saying I am no longer subscribing to the thinking of the masses.  I become my own independent thinker happily entertaining my own thoughts.

It also gives me the comfort that I am defining my own boundaries as far as faith is concerned.  This wa[s] (way) I managed to subtract to the very minimum things that I regard as irrelevant to my progress for the next 21 years.  From here on I will be the master of my fate and the captain of my ship.  A warrior walks alone.  Eagles fly alone.

---------------------