This morning I managed to run for 15 minutes. I was not entirely motivated. As a fact I wanted to quit after 30 minutes. But I persisted and completed in 1 hour.
I felt heavy. Worst of all I don't feel the kick which normally happens after 30 minutes. I got to fight this downward spiral. I must persist.
At the end of the day I am responsible for my own destiny. I cannot rely on others to make me happy. This is entirely up to me. I am responsible for my own destiny.
So today I made one good decision. For lunch I am going for a dark chocolate 70% and a cup of Americano. I am the master of my fate.
What am I grateful today? I manage to wake up early and I can run for 15 minutes. Think of the days when I had the gout attack. Imagine how painful it was even to walk to the toilet, Definitely I have a good day today.
I will wash my car and I will enjoy the rest of the day. I make a point not to listen to TraXX today. I have so many choices. I am a freeman.
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The morning exercise certainly paid off. I am more alert. Now is to get the right food for the body. I need to get back into the groove. Back to the Vision Quest.
I have to accept that this is the life being handed to me. There is nothing beyond this. Nobody is going to make me rich. It is all up to me. Since I don't want to be rich I might as well make the best of what I have now.
I make my life rich. It doesn't take much. I exercise and I eat well. That's all that's required. I don't need to rely on anybody. That's the true meaning of being autonomous.
I need to be a self-centered dickhead. This is not the time to be magnanimous. This is self-preservation.
I am looking forward to Iron Maiden's 17th Album.
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As I was watching the Legacy of the Beast, I realized that for the past 20 years I was crazy. I was down dead crazy. So many false beliefs. Now I was to let go of everything. I want to be normal. I was too engrossed in religion and I got carried [carried] away with my own illusion of grandiose.
Fuck... Now I don't believe in Iron Maiden even. I don't want to believe in anything. All beliefs are nothing more than opinions and perspective. Well now I decided I will not succumb to any of those. I will be a man without assumption.
Nothing matter except self.
Even the the Legacy of the Beast is boring.
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