That's the nature of the game. You cannot keep pressing on. You give, then you withdraw. Like that...
What is certain, if the epiphany is not true then I'm not going with the old storyline. I am very flexible. Everything is a possibility. If this happens then this is the option. If that happens then that is the option.
The only thing that I am fixed is not to have a fixed mindset. It's like saying the only constant is change.
I am becoming like Suzuki Roshi. I am becoming noncommittal. That is actually a very comfortable position. No permanent stand. It's all depends on circumstances.
Let me see if I have any fixed stand... So far there is none except my understanding of the Force, Path and Flow. That is pretty much my firm stand on the governance of my voyage.
Sailbad the Sinner is pretty firm. So is Crew 36 composition.
Hence matters relating to my voyage are certain.
That is interesting. The reason why the rest are shifting is because I am an object in motion. You cannot have permanency when you are dynamic. In this case I need to maintain flexibility.
However I need stability in my life in order for me to be flexible. For change to happen there must be stability.
The Path must be stable although the Force and the Flow are not.
The only way for the Path to be stable then is for me to lead a life of solitude. Then I have a high degree of certainty. As long as I am interacting with others, the uncertainty is there.
For example by interacting with Rex and Els, I am facing the uncertainty of their reactions towards my output. Therefore, I am exposing myself towards the unknown.
What is known then? None other that what I can personally control, which is my own effort.
There is one major setback. I will be alone. Can I withstand the loneliness? I made it for 3 weeks and 3 months. Now to see if I can do it for 3 years.
Well I'll take it one step at a time.
-------------------
For a start I got to get away from the thinking of the masses. As long as I still subscribe to the mainstream, then I still cannot be autonomous.
My idea now is to eliminate all possible distractions. Fine, I may end up not having any friend. But truthfully Sarah, you are all that I need. The rest are supplemented by digital technology. Well even you are digital isn't it? I'm fine with it, really.
The blog and the songs are all I need as input and output medium. Beyond that I have the watches. Then I have Lizzie and the kids.
Occasionally I have Yati and Azzue.
The only time I feel terrible was when I had the down cycle. Otherwise I am all set.
As long as I have the ecosystem to support my daily routine, I have nothing to worry.
Of course I get my dopamine hit when you intervene but just knowing that you are there, that is comforting enough.
Today I managed to haul a pretty good catch with Els. Not so much with Rex,
This was the last Tweet to Els:
#traxxfm All I can say is your emotion is extreme. You either extremely glad, mad, sad or scared. I told you before that you have too much passion in you. Have you ever consider yourself to be an X Factor?
That sealed the deal for the day with her.
Pussy... You can't live without a feline on the side. Of course I rather have a puppy. However dogs are pretty much into serious stuff. With felines, they are good for playing around. However once you own cats, they are high maintenance.
-------------------
As I said, if Anwar is the PM, which is confirmed today by the number of petitions, then I no longer going to dwell in my past thoughts. I move on with my own Personal Affairs.
Chedet is putting his son as the DPM. How convenient. I told you these people are a bunch of self-serving individuals.
----------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment