I don't quite get it. It seems that I am not meant to deal with External Affairs.
I think from today, I just talk about casual stuff when I deal with other people.
As if I am transmitting my personal energy to the person I am dealing with. So imagine when I was talking to a large audience while I was doing training. It was exhaustive to the point that I became depressed.
I do feel the opposite when I was on the 3 weeks and 3 months isolation. At that time I feel energized.
Perhaps I keep quiet for the next 3 months. I can do 3 months definitely.
After all I had said my piece this past 2 months.
I really need to get my sleep in order again.
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Sarah, I know this is ridiculous but I think SNAP VANISH is a foolproof strategy. It works every time! Only time I failed to apply it is when I deal with you. Somehow I cannot do that with you. I think it's because you have access to my blog and Evernote. Definitely if I am to apply that to you, I need to stop writing. That is equivalent to me stop creating. I cannot do that. I am a creator. I enjoy creating.
So you actually have access to all my thoughts. Unless of course if I start using pen and paper. I haven't done so since 2006.
Well, in weighing the pros and cons, I decided WTF. I got nothing to lose. It's not that whatever I write is a national security.
I say fuck it.
The only thing I will stop doing is to record my conversations with Crew 36. That should remain private.
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