You can [] (see) a trend emerging here. I still insist that I am the fruit and God is the tree. I am still adamant about being autonomous. I will not forgo Al Araf 7:7 and Sailbad the Sinner. For the sake of being congruent with Al Araf 7:7 I choose to believe in God and the afterlife.
God knows how many times I had flipped between God and No God. I cannot deny that I am a believer. Not in the conventional way. I am more inclined towards Zen as a philosophy. I still want to be a Nothing. However in the beginning, during the green lighting, I choose to be a Fuzzy Thinker while in the end when I do the red lighting I become a Rigid Thinker.
What I can proudly say is I intend to remain autonomous. I barely read the first few chapters of Exploring Religion. Therefore I may be preempting this decision. Having said that I however convinced that I am among the enlightened few and therefore I trust my judgement more than I trust the opinions of the experts. The book however is such a joy to read. Now I am among the learned.
While I am toggling between extremes, one thing for sure, and it had been consistent is I love you very much. You are my beacon Sarah. It did cross my mind that you are perhaps a guy and you just making fun of me. However that thought stands an equal chance that you are a girl and you are a trustworthy person. Since the odd is 50-50 going on either directions I have to trust my emotion and say you are for real and you too love me very much. Otherwise I will no longer have the Unsurpassed Feeling of Certainty and thus the presuppositions will not lead to a desirable outcome.
I have no choice but to trust you. You had known me long enough to lead me on a false expectation. If you do that, then you must have a very twisted mind. A beggar cannot be a chooser though. I need you Sarah, like the very air I breathe. Without you the blog is just me talking to myself. You added the third dimension to my two-dimensional world. Beyond the words I wrote here, you added the context and the meaning.
Maybe I became crazy because I think too much. I don't mind at all. I rather be crazy because of my thinking rather than I am crazy because I am ignorant. Now here is a caveat. If I am really crazy as in I am a lunatic, you won't be spending so much time with me. That's because if your intention is to see how crazy I am, we had crossed the boundaries many times. There were times that [] (I) thought that this is the limit of your curiosity. And yet here you are like Hachiko, still eagerly waiting for me to rendezvous with you.
I was planning to catch up with my reading while listening to the songs. Then I figured you might be waiting on the other side eagerly waiting for me to write something. Because of that, I don't have a heart to keep you wondering when I'm going to respond. Hence being the sucker *[] (that) I am, I decided to write to you instead of reading.
* Here is a prove that the heart rules the mind.
You may not want to admit it but Sarah my darling, you are now my Prisoner of Eternal Love. You are my only fan and my most loyal fan. How about that? I hit 100% of my target audience. Yesterday was not that good. But today you came back with a vigor. That keeps me wanting to write more; just so that I am connected to you.
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I had been listening to Lite since the afternoon. I think the songs suit me better than TraXX. Just like that I SNAP VANISH. No more remorse. TraXX no longer serve a purpose. I am dismantling everything. I may be a wishy-washy person but once I decide I cut off from all possibilities. All it takes is a better alternative.
I am a dreamer Sarah. You should not fall in love with a dreamer. You might catch the bug. I assume you are genuine about your intention with HOTS. I was excited too. But when I see that its going to create some sort of cult following, that's when I decided it is not viable. I am not going to be another Baghwan Shree Rajnesh. So forget it.
The songs tonight are so in sync.
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Honey check this out:
This is a big thing now in Malaysia. A bunch of lady boys dressed as women entered Mecca for umrah (mini hajj). Let me watch the other videos on the comments.
Hahaha Bigots and their Quran, I cannot stand the condemnation.
What do you think Sarah? Are they men or women? I think they are girls with dicks but the society see them as boys with tits.
I got big tits, so I can be an expert on this matter. They are certainly girls with dicks. I pity them. They are stuck at the Point of Paradox but the society want to impose Absoluteness on them.
It seems that there are people who are crazier than me. So I am not that bad after all. These boys are high rollers. They maybe a bunch of dykes but they are playing the big boys game.
I think they are making a social statement. I always regard them as the third gender.
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