I basically had axed FB for good. No need for that. I managed to ax Rex and Els. So no more tweeting.
I would have axed all local radio stations. Unfortunately 247 Continuous is giving me some problem. Now I am listening to Youtube Live. A better option if it can exceed 10 hours.
Maybe I should test this channel. So far I like it very much. There are other channels as well.
Who needs radio when we have streaming.
Radio is so outdated.
I like this option already.
Just like that I feel much better about my life.
-----------------
I just listen to this Indonesian songs and then I go to sleep.
Life is not that bad at all it seems. All I need is a fresh perspective. No TraXX no 247 Continuous, no problem. Plenty of options.
Tonight I sleep a little bit late. I slept until 12:00 pm this morning. I just had my 5th mug of coffee. So I'm not ready to go to bed yet.
I really miss you Sarah. I don't know, with all these misspellings, you may just be a computer glitch. But hey, you make my day honey.
Yesterday was bad. I was really down. Only time will tell if I ever going to win over Bipolar. I was feeling that I will have to take the medication for life.
-------------------
Anyway Sarah, I have nothing now. I am nobody special. Just another recovering Bipolar patient. So forget about everything I had told you in the past, they are all part of the illness. Whatever the mind focuses it will expand.
Anyway, I still prefer Sound Journey.
Back to this Bipolar issue. I have to take the stand John Nash took. The past 20 years are just the effect of the illness and me smoking dope. I am not going to believe in anything now. I am a man with no belief. Not even the congruence of my numbers. I had set 2041 as the finishing line for my Vision Quest.
By then my parents will be dead. So I'll bury the hatchet and finally liberate myself.
---------------------
I love the idea of going on a voyage Sarah. I'll take it that my life is one long voyage. Now Al Araf 7:7 are TRULY my crew of Sailbad the Sinner. I will no longer made any inference to the angels.
So I change the name to just... I'll keep the name. It means the Highest. It is a good meaning.
So here are my Senior Officers:
- Jibrail - Tigera
- Izrael - Wasp Raptor Z
- Izrafil - Counselor Oz
- Munkar - Wiley Kat
- Nakir - Dino 7
- Ridzuan - Akira
- Iblis - Lord Matterhorn
- Malik - Marshal Alex Marconi
- Raqib - Captain Mac
- Atiq - Major Systema
- Mikail - Maleficent
I thinks I change the name to Crew 36.
That way I am completely out of any religious connotation. 36 is the smallest triangular square.
I am beginning to wonder Sarah, am I really destined to succeed? It seems that no matter what I am still on the Path.
Maybe I am that special person after all. This song was on air:
Whatever it is, I concluded that I will reach my destiny without me having to belief in anything. At most I believe in the Force, the Path and the Flow. That is not religion. There is no reference to the theistic belief. The closest is the practice of Zen. I may be closer to the Zen philosophy than any religion out there.
Maybe what I said all these while are true. I don't want religion to get the credit though. I have no religion. I believe in the Force, the Path and the Flow. I am a Navigator. I will stay on this course.
As much as I want to disregard God and the afterlife, I can't. My God is the impersonal Force. That is not God by any standard of today's religion. The Force is the tree and I am its fruit. That is not being crazy, that is being enlightened.
Shit... for all you know I was right all along. Maybe I am special and I am going somewhere. Well I intend to make it to 2041. Then we'll see where do I go from there.
I cannot get there by being wishy-washy about where I am going. I must have a definiteness of purpose.
As for the afterlife, I always believe that my consciousness lives on. That is not really an afterlife. That is actually a continuation of who I am until I reach my final destination.
From here on I'll try to be as objective as possible. I speak from the perspective of a person who was awakened by the wisdom within. Instinctively I know my life doesn't end when I die. I come from somewhere and I am going somewhere. Otherwise I will not be so adamant about having my own ship and my own crew. I am going to NNW Constellation. I don't know how far is this constellation or if it's within this physical realm. However I know I am not crazy. The Feng Shui of CCC is perfect. I have the albatross facing NNW, 348 degree. NW - Opportunity.
Sailbad the Sinner is Facing SE - Wealth (Money)
Crew 36 are positioned at SW - Family (Marriage)
You know Sarah my darling, I don't want to believe but fuck... I am reclining with my feet to the South (Fame) and my head to the North (Career).
My CCC was sliced to 5 sides. It's like you are having a rectangle and the corner facing WNW was sliced to form the 5th side. That is where I have my altar and WNW is the direction of Kaaba.
I didn't plan for all these and yet they happened to be in the right places. If anything, I say my CCC is a great place to be LOL.
To add to the Feng Shuiness of the whole thing, my house door is facing SE. How Feng Shui can you get?
I'm having fun here Sarah. Don't mind me. Still... My point is these cannot be coincidences. They are too accurate.
As a whole my life turned out to be OK; for a dragon that is.
I know I had been rambling about all these. The question is do I believe in them? Well they are useful in making me feel good about the house. This is my fort. Used to be my Fort by Fords. Now both Fords are gone.
--------------------
What can I say Sarah, minus religion, the numbers and the epiphanies I am still one optimistic person.
I cannot be minusing everything. I have the insights of who I am. Do I deny that?
Anyway this is just for fun. I don't actually believe all these craps. However they do make me feel good sitting here in CCC. If they are working towards my favor, why not?
Anything that makes me feel good I welcome.
After all so far nobody ever broken into the house although attempts had been made.
------------------
OK Sarah, time for your lullaby:
Honey no matter what, I am sticking to my Personal Flight Path. Instead of KBOOOM 2041, I shall name it VIVA 2041. As for 2014, I shall call it AVOIR 2014.
That way I detach from all traces of religion. 2020 I had decided to do away with religion altogether.
Goodnight Sarah. All these may be confusing. I am going back and forth like a pendulum. Don't worry about it. All I know is I love you very much.
--------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment