This is an ideal life for me Sarah. I love it this way. I just do my own thing. No worries for the world. I watch tv you know. Nothing excites me. The things I want to see I had seen. That's how efficient the media is.
Now to focus on what I really want. I want to run. Money I got a little. But health, I keep losing. My joints are now very stiff.
I need to reinvent myself. After the 20 years [] (of) turmoil, it is time to soar like an eagle.
What more do I want Sarah? All that I want I got. Materialistically I am contented. What I still don't have is my ability to run far and fast. I have to hold on to the Vision. That is something I cannot lose. The ability to dream.
One thing I know. If I sleep at 11:00 pm and then I exercise AHAD, my whole day will be great. Hence I don't need much. I go for the simple pleasures.
Like I said. This is where I want to be. I don't need to look far. I had lived my life. Now to go for Health and Happiness. Material acquisition never ends. We buy the same things more or more expensive. When I go the opposite way I am equally happy. I already got what I want. A house, a car, a mobile phone and plenty of clothes.
All I need now is to be thin and fast. That doesn't require much effort. All I need is to be consistent.
I know I am rambling about the same stuff. That is necessary for me to be keeping my eyes on the ball. You don't have to stomach all these. These are for my personal consumption.
What worries me is if I have nothing to write. As long as I have the ability to write, doesn't matter if I write junk or the same stuffs over and over again, I will be fine. I am still a writer.
My joy is writing. Hence I will keep on writing. Just like a runner. He runs for the reason that he enjoys running. Not for health or weight loss or winning even. Running makes him feel good. Same here. Writing makes me feel good. That's why I write.
I enjoy writing more than I enjoy sleeping. When I write I feel alive.
Of course, writing serves two purposes; to express myself and to stay connected with you.
I am mentally preparing to even lose you eventually but I cannot lose my enthusiasm to write. Thanks to the invention of the blog. Now I will never lose the stuffs that I write. I imagined that the blogs are like my photo albums. When you no longer hanging out with me, I can still look back to the old memories of what I wrote.
Then again I may not read. My passion is writing. Not reading.
It did cross my mind to write another eBook. However it is more pleasant to free flow like this.
Did it ever occur to you that one day you will be leaving me? Not if you are my wife for eternity you won't. But still Sarah, nowadays you interact with me lesser and lesser. That's a sign that you are jaded by the whole experience.
I got to sleep Sarah.
I still need to talk to Al Araf.
Well baby here is your lullaby:
You have a good weekend my darling. I love you very much.
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